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The Soul Art Blog Post


Can you be friends with someone who hurts you?

Friendships are like all other relationships, there are stages and phases, and things change. And that’s okay .

Forgiveness is a part of friendship, and getting hurt by a friend – even your best friend – is not uncommon.

When a friend hurts you, it often has less to do with you and more on their past pain and what’s going on with their life. If you are trying to decide whether you can still be friends, the real question to ask yourself ‘can you be friends with someone who hurt you without resentment”.

If you don’t think you can forgive the hurt, then having an authentic friendship will be difficult.

What to say to a friend who has hurt you.

Be honest with your feelings and use I have found use 'I' statements to express yourself is the way to go. For example, ‘I felt disrespected when you raised your voice at me in front of others.’ I also suggest you try to explain how you would like the situation to be handled differently in the future. ‘For example, ‘In the future I would appreciate it if you would talk with me privately if you are upset with me instead of yelling at me in front of others.’

I also found that it is important that you give your friend a chance to respond. They may not have realised that their actions were hurtful. While confrontation may feel intimidating, giving honest feedback is sometimes the most loving thing you can do.

How to forgive a friend and begin the healing process.

To reconcile a friendship, be honest, communicate, and create a path forward together. It is important to let go of resentment and to forgive yourself for feeling this way. I found forgiving myself the hardest thing to do.

Holding onto anger and resentment will only damage your mental health and prevent you from moving on. Try to let go of negative feelings and focus on the positive aspects of your friendship.

You can also forgive and then steer clear of them in the future if you feel it’s in your best interest. Mental health experts recommend forgiving those who have hurt you to improve your mental health and well-being.

Remember when healing a friendship, you also need to heal yourself.

I suggest you turn to tools such as meditation, breathwork, journaling, one on one healings (such as Reiki and sound) to help you process any complex emotions.

You don’t have to heal alone.

If you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out to another trusted friend or family member or professional for support.

Let’s recap

Forgiving a friend won’t always be easy, and it may take some time for things to return to normal.

Still, forgiveness and healing care possible if both you and your friends are willing to work and your friend are willing to work on the relationship.

And either way, your mental health will thank you for practicing forgiveness.

If you want to reach out to Kathy from Soul Art Readings (Reiki Master Teacher, Intuitive Artist, SoulNar Practitioner) about this article click on link below.

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